Of Cults and Market Penetration

TPS Report 1

TPS Report for 11-20-1479DR

Performance Evaluation:

Some interesting things happened on the way to Neverwinter. Ok let’s be honest. I wasn’t really paying attention. I’ve retroactively delegated all attention paying duties to our backstab professional Zarth. In fact I can barely remember what we were doing before we stumbled upon what appeared to have been a hostile acquisition in progress—several bandits crowding around a hobgoblin merchant caravan.

On that note, it was touching to see these hobgoblin struggling to make an honest living. Honestly most of Faerûn think that hobgoblins just hang out in dungeons waiting for adventurers to kill them. That’s really just a myth perpetuated by adventurers to try and feel morally justified in killing them and taking their stuff. Adventures make up less than 1% of the population of Faerûn, yet they go around stealing the wealth of hardworking monsters like these. These hobgoblins are the salt of the earth, they are the 99%.

Anyways we slaughtered them!

I liked the initiative of those bandits until they ran off like cowards at the first sign of trouble, so we hostiley acquired their lives in addition to the cash we snagged off the hobgoblin wagon. On that note, this Lakta-cho character is an efficient killing machine. He’s an enigma, that one. Is he a bug, a human, a bug in a human suit, or a human in a bug suit? Has anyone else seen him take off his face? How long has he been travelling with us? Why can’t I remember meeting him?

I’ve appointed him murder consultant, and it is my hope that he will continue to actualize all potential violence.

I also had a networking opportunity with the representative of the local dragon cult as well. After assisting him evicting some demons (I really hate seeing outsiders taking jobs from honest citizens) I had a chance to talk to shop with him. Zarth advised me to, for the moment, play the true nature of our patron close the vest, but it was nice to talk shop with someone in the industry for once.
Hopefully, our organizations will be able to utilize this relationship to cross-fertilize markets, and capitalize on some real non-linear growth opportunities. With the eventual goal of subsuming his cult, of course.

We also had a run-in with some spell plagued. They’ve really let this neighborhood to go shit. I also found a book that I couldn’t read. Whatever. I’m here to lead, not to read.
And now we are in Neverwinter. Mission Accomplished!

Goals:

I’ve gone and identified some of the mission critical elements of our current endeavors.

  1. Multi-level veneration – if we can each recruit 10 people to venerate Shar, and have each of those people recruit 10 more people to venerate Shar, my calculations indicate we will be able to increase Shar veneration in Neverwinter nearly 1,000,000,000% in only a few short years!
  2. Acquire venture capital – Cultist robes, skulls, blasphemous idols, and human sacrifices aren’t cheap people! We need to secure a enough liquid assets to get our operation off the ground, and find a location for our front-end operating venue with some tasteful interior decorating.
  3. Acquire Influence and Promote Brand Recognition – We need to get our brand out there people. This means identifying the trend-setters in this city and getting them in our pockets.

Agenda:

  • Recruit! – This is the only way to complete our first goal, so let’s get too it! Marketing needs to start developing some marketing kits to hand out to our recruits so they can begin recruiting as well.
  • Corrupt nobility. This seems like the most efficient way of completing our second and third goals. We will discuss this further at our next strategy session.
  • Sexual Harassment Seminar – Apparently my Dark Beckoning ability made some people uncomfortable today. Next week we will have a sexual harassment seminar to discuss this.
  • Murder orphans and rub ourselves in their entrails. (Currently low priority.)

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